


Meet Me at the Pier

by Impossiblefangirl0632



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Banter, Christianity, College Student Rey (Star Wars), Dreams, F/M, It doesn't play a large role but it is mentioned, Like an actual depiction of narcolepsy, Marriage of Convenience, Narcolepsy, Not the usual hollywood BS, Religion, Rey Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Soft Ben Solo, Student Rey (Star Wars), Trains, and a nap, commuter meet cute, mentions of hospitals doctors appointments and health insurance woes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28251450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impossiblefangirl0632/pseuds/Impossiblefangirl0632
Summary: “What’s it like for you?” She held him close, grateful for his steady warmth that encompasses her very soul.“What do you mean?” He pressed a kiss into her hair, trailing his fingers up and down her exposed arm.“When you fade, what do you see?”He’s quiet for a moment, considering. “I see the pier.” He lifts her chin so their eyes meet. “And I see you.”OrA commuter meet cute where Ben and Rey are both narcoleptics. Ben was diagnosed years ago but Rey is struggling to accept she even has a problem. She’s a student, she’s just tired, everything’s fine. Until it’s not.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 75
Kudos: 73





	1. Should have set an alarm...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there and thank you for clicking on this fic! I hope you enjoy it. Large portions of this fic are inspired by events from my life and so it has become very dear to me. The Hollywood/common misunderstandings surrounding narcolepsy frankly drive me insane so this is my way of telling my story and trying to gently educate some people that there is more to narcolepsy than just falling asleep randomly. But, ya know, with Reylo.

Rey adjusted the straps of her backpack for the millionth time, trying to tempt a breeze onto her sweaty back and alleviate the pain in her shoulder from her heavy bag at the same time. The 5:23 train was due in a few minutes and Rey desperately hoped that it would be one of the new ones with air conditioning and softer cushions.

Crait in August was sweltering. Her first summer here she thought she was going to die any time she went outside. The total lack of humidity made her feel like a raisin in a concrete oven. She had made the mistake of renting one of the ancient flats without air conditioning on campus that first year which was why after befriending Rose they had set off together and now rented a small but blessedly airconditioned and cheap flat near the tram line in the suburbs.

Meeting Rose in that freshman Calc II class was perhaps the best thing that had happened to Rey since coming to the states for uni. Besides helping her get her footing in a new country Rose also helped Rey enormously by introducing her to Finn and Kaydel giving Rey her first ever real group of friends. 

Her phone buzzed with a text from Rose.

Rose:  _ Hey try not to fall asleep on the train today, k? Crait’s pretty safe but I worry _

Rey rolled her eyes but smiled fondly anyway, knowing that her friend meant well. Crait may as well be an isolated island when comparing its crime rate to Birmingham’s.

Rey:  _ No promises you didnt let me sleep through quantum so ive been looking forward to my train nap. _

Rose:  _ Rey. I know you’re teasing but seriously. 1 Windu hates it people sleep in his class so I was saving you from embarrassment 2 just don’t sleep through your stop again _

_ Also Finn brought over left over pizza and I saved you a few slices. _

Rey:  _ pleading emoji you two are my favorite humans _

Rose:  _ And as your favorite humans we ask that you please stay safe and not sleep on public transport. At the very least set an alarm so you don’t miss your stop. _

Rey:  _ Yes mum. _

She put her phone away thinking over Rose’s suggestion. It was one she’d made several times now. So she had slept through her stop a few times, big deal. The school gave all its students free ride cards so really she was only out the inconvenience of riding back to her stop on the next northbound train and they ran close together so it didn’t take more than 20 minutes to backtrack. Usually. There was that one time she slept all the way to the end of the line out on the south side of the valley. 

Rey smiled at the memory, a nice older woman had been the one to wake her looking rather sheepish and they’d had a good laugh about it.

Her good mood evaporated when the tram came into view, it was one of the older ones. All the red line trains used to be the nice ones until last year when the transit department spread them out over the three lines depriving Rey of one of her few reliable comforts. Rey had grumbled about it extensively to Rose, who had grown up in a rural area of the state just appreciated having public transit at all, had mimed playing the world’s smallest violin at her pain.

There were plenty of seats since this was only the second stop from the beginning of the line near the medical campus. She found a seat in her usual area and settled in for the half-hour ride. The heat was more tolerable inside but the relief was temporary as only a few minutes later it enveloped her like a suffocatingly warm blanket. 

Rey felt herself drifting off before they even reached downtown. The stretch of track between campus and the far edge of the city always took the longest since there stops on what felt like every corner. More and more people piled onto the train as they passed the office blocks. 

She people watched for a while with heavy eyelids. There were a few others she recognized from her daily commute. There was the older gentleman with the tweed cap, the middle aged woman with fiery red hair, the man who always saved a seat for a woman that got on the train two stops down, and then there was Rey’s favorite person to watch. 

The tall, dark-haired man was Rey’s favorite, not because he was gorgeous (though he definitely was in an unconventional Byronic hero type way) but because he usually read a book on the train and he would make the best faces in response to what he was reading. He often mouthed words to himself or flipped the page roughly during intense passages. Once she’d seen him caress the page with an open longing that made Rey want to go ask what book he was reading. Surely anything that could bring such an intimidating man to tears was worth reading.

He was one of the long familiar regulars. The first time she saw him back in January she’d been impressed by the sheer size of him followed closely by an appreciation for his hair which a Disney prince would be jealous of.

As though summoned by her thoughts he entered through the doors nearest her and found an empty spot to stand a few feet from her. She observed him for a moment, watching him pull a book from his satchel. She was impressed when the starting lurch of the train didn’t seem to phase him despite barely leaning against one of the poles.

She liked to guess what people did for a job. He dressed well, sometimes a full suit but always at least a button-down shirt and slacks. So somewhere at least semi-formal, ruling out the more laid back design firms that littered the city. Based on the ink stains on his hands he must write a lot, maybe he was an editor or a researcher? 

He looked up from his book and caught her eye for a moment, offering a barely-there smile before dropping his gaze back to the red paperback.

Rey felt her cheeks flush, embarrassed at being caught staring. 

Another wave of tiredness washed over her so she leaned against the window but cringed back from the heated glass, instead settling further down into her seat to prop her neck against the top of the seat. Her arm loosened its hold on her bag as the familiar feeling of leaden limbs crept over her.

_ So warm… _

She vaguely remembered Rose’s alarm suggestion before sleep took her. 

___

British Girl had fallen asleep. Again. 

Ben shook his head and chuckled softly to himself, dropping his eyes back to the page. Whatever she did must be exhausting because she seemed to fall asleep every other time he saw her on the train. He assumed she was a student at the university based on the train’s origin point, her age, and the heavy probably textbook filled bag she always had. What was she studying? How did she end up in Crait of all places? What made her so tired all the time? 

Maybe she was like him…

Ben dismissed that thought, just because he had narcolepsy didn’t mean every tired person around him did. 

Though she had fallen asleep pretty quickly after getting embarrassed when he caught her staring…

He turned the page with unnecessary force. Poe’s incessant teasing that day was just getting to him. Poe may be his best friend but he had about as much tact as a cactus. Ben should never have told him, then he wouldn’t have to put up with the relentless ribbing anytime he mentioned being tired. 

Everyone was tired, it was the most common response to ‘how are you?’ beside the generic ‘good’.

Seats opened up as they headed further into the suburbs allowing Ben to claim one about halfway through his journey home. A group of laughing teens broke his concentration, with an internal grumble he put his book away after reading the same passage three times over without processing any of it. Needing something to occupy himself with his thoughts turned again towards British Girl who’s head had lolled to the side in a sort of adorable way. 

Maybe one these days he’d be brave enough to talk to her.

He wasn’t shy necessarily, he just didn’t come off as creepy and felt like he needed a good reason to talk to her besides ‘I think you’re cute, and hearing you laugh is the best part of my day’. On days she didn’t sleep he almost always heard her laughing at something on her phone. She usually tried to suppress it, covering her mouth with a hand but her shoulders shook and her eyes lit up in a way that just reminded you that there was good in humanity.

Lost in thought Ben watched the world of graffitied brick walls and overgrown invasive plants that lined the tracks speed by. They passed another station and Ben noted that he had two left before he had to transfer which meant her’s was next. 

He checked to see if she was still asleep, she usually had an uncanny ability to wake up right before her stop but she was still dead to the world, snoring slightly. 

He should wake her up, right? They’d acknowledged each other often enough that wasn’t too weird that he knew which stop was hers… right? How should he even wake her up without being rude? 

Ben wasted precious minutes debating but too soon the train started to slow and it was now or never. 

He abandoned his seat to tap her twice on the shoulder. He held up his hand immediately after she jolted awake in an effort to not freak her out. “Hey, uh sorry to wake you up but I think is your stop.” 

She rubbed her eyes and blinked rapidly looking outside. “Ah! Thank you!” She scrambled out of the seat pulling her bag onto her shoulder. 

Ben backed out of the aisle allowing her to pass. She muttered to herself as she passed something about “She told me so…” and “Should have set an alarm.”

She hurried to the door and barely made it out before they closed. 

Ben watched through the window as she bent over with her hands on her knees seemingly catching her breath from the sudden rush. She straightened up and mouthed ‘thank you’ to Ben through the glass just as the train pulled away.

__

Rey watched the train round the bend before she left herself sag against the shade pavilion. That was too close. Rey knew that she’d never hear the end of it if Rose ever found out what happened. So she shouldn’t tell her.

But…

On the other hand, she’d finally talked to Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome something that Rose had made Rey promise to do back in July when Rey admitted to having a small crush on him. So then she was morally obligated to tell Rose.

Ugh. 

Fine. Rey considered just texting her friend on the walk home but if she was going to get teased mercilessly she might as well get to see Rose’s face when she tells her.

  
  


“You talked to him!?!? How was it? What did he say? What did you say???”

“Before you spontaneously combust you have to promise not to say I told you so.” Rey grabbed the pizza Rose had saved her and took up her spot on the couch, balancing the plate between her knees.

“Scouts honor.” Rose promised, “Now spill!”

“Well he said, ‘sorry to wake you up but isn’t this your stop?’ and I said thanks before I ran out the door.” Rey grinned cheekily at Rose.

“What! No fair! Rey…” Rose threw one of her tiny throw pillows at Rey who moved her plate out of the way laughing maniacally.

Rose pouted and glared at Rey but was too nice to break her promise. “So just to be clear you almost missed your stop?”

“Yes…” Rey grumbled.

Rose raised an eyebrow.

“Hey you promised, no ‘I told you so’s”

“I said nothing.” Rose defended

“Your eyebrow just delivered quite the eloquent lecture so I beg to differ.”

“If you got all that from one raised eyebrow then you already told yourself I told you so. In that case, I win regardless.”

Rey shoved the pizza in her mouth and threw up her hands in mock defeat “Mmmfine, I give up” she mumbled around her mouthful of cheap pizza.

Rose dissolved into laughter and Rey followed her not long after. 

The giggles subsided and Rey munched her food happily, enjoying the company of her best friend. 

“Seriously though, you have the perfect reason to talk to him now! Save him a seat tomorrow and stare him down until he sits by you. Or at least go sit by him after the train clears out. I can see it now, this is the beginning of your epic romance!”

“Rose! First off, I’m not saving him a seat. That’s weird. But… I could be convinced to your second suggestion. And don’t get your hopes up too soon. He could be dating someone, or have horrible  _ Galaxy Wars _ opinions, or think modern art is good.”

Rose snorted. “Your deal-breaker list is very different than mine.”

“I know what really matters,” Rey teased. “Really though, I am going to talk to him, maybe try to get his number. He blocked the door so a mom could get her stroller in once and he gives up his seat for old people.” 

Rose smiled triumphantly “Like I said, epic romance.” 


	2. Gratitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey follows Rose's advice and sits next to Ben the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy almost New Year! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy and that 2021 is kinder to us all.

_ Ben sat on the edge of the pier letting his toes brush the water. His shoes and socks were nowhere to be found, it was just him, the lake, and the pier. On the far shore, he could see the crisp silhouettes of the fir trees lining the bank. The old patched intertube bounced against his calf, pulling on the rope keeping it tethered to the final wooden pole. It would be so easy to climb on, just let go and drift away out onto the sunny water.  _

_ His limbs grew heavy draped over the soft rubber. When had he climbed on? He fought briefly to keep his head up but was there really any point? The tether called to him, begging to be released. His neck gave out letting his head fall back against the tube.  _

_ The water was cool beneath his trailing fingertips, a gentle breeze pushed him further out onto the lake-  _

  
  


Someone was poking him. 

Ben opened his eyes abruptly. His heart felt sluggish in its obnoxiously frantic tempo as he swallowed and focused on his surroundings. Had he been asleep?

Right.

Train.

He’d only sat down a moment ago. Well, maybe. He checked his watch to see how much time he’d lost to the impromptu nap. Six minutes. That explained the wakefulness then. Naps shorter than ten minutes were less likely to make him feel like he’d been hit by a car and more like he’d been struck by lightning. 

“Oh! Sorry! I didn’t realize you were asleep! That’s funny since you woke me up yesterday.” 

Was British Girl really sitting next to him?

“Do you mind if I sit here? I wanted to have a chat.”

“Um-” Ben blinked at her, too stunned to fully process what was going on. He already thought she was pretty but up close and smiling specifically at  _ him _ she was radiant.

That smile faltered slightly the longer he just stared at her willing his brain to come up with words.

“I’m not still asleep am I?” He finally blurted.

_ Real smooth Ben… Now she thinks you’re crazy. _

“Sorry, uh- just waking up still I guess, sometimes I- What I mean is-” He spluttered.

She took pity on him and stopped him before he could dig himself further into this hole. “Let’s back up, shall we? My name’s Rey. I wanted to thank you for making sure I didn’t miss my stop yesterday.”

Ben smiled slightly, grateful for her considerate gesture. “Ben. And it was no trouble, I was happy to help. It’s nice to meet you officially, Rey.”

She laughed. “Nice to meet you officially Ben.” She settled further into the seat, seemingly more at ease now, “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure?” Ben questioned.

“Nothing ominous I promise,” She held up three fingers “Scout’s honor.”

“No good, I’ve known too many scouts.” Ben quipped back before panicking and second-guessing himself. That wasn’t even the actual quote! Just a weird hybridization of the line that Poe had come up with when they were teenagers. His panic ended up short-lived as she assuaged his fears with a knowing grin.

“Ahh, I see you are a man of excellent taste, The Princess Bride, nice.” She teased.

She leaned towards him conspiratorily. “What if I told you-”

“I thought you said it wasn’t ominous,” Ben interrupted, unable to stop himself. “Sorry, sorry continue, please.”

She graced him with another laugh, “Nice one. What if I told you that I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to talk to you for months?”

Ben’s heart soared. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from grinning like an idiot. “That’s some secret. Especially considering I’ve been keeping an eerily similar one..”

Rey’s cheeks turned pink as she blushed prettily, apparently not expecting him to admit to the same thing.

“I guess it’s a good thing I can’t seem to stay awake on the train then,” She shook her head, amused but Ben thought he heard something genuinely self-deprecating in her tone. “My roommate always tells me to set an alarm or something but…” She trailed off with a vague hand gesture. “It’s pathetic, really.”

“I don’t think it’s pathetic,” Ben answered softly. “I mean, you just woke me up.” He offered.

“Fair point. But I’ve never seen you fall asleep before-” Rey cut herself off, her blush returning.

Ben chuckled. “I won’t judge you for watching me if you don’t mind that I was watching you.”

She smiled, at ease once again. “I think that’s a fair trade.” 

That sat quietly for a moment, both wanting to talk but not really knowing what to say.

“I used to fall asleep on the train a lot more.” He admitted, thinking of how she stopped to listen to the few people that wanted to chat on their commute. Maybe she needed someone to listen to her. “I’m less tired nowadays but I definitely remember when I used to miss my stop too.”

“Oh.” She looked thoughtful, “How did you stop doing it? If you say coffee…” She threatened, “That’s the usual suggestion,” She changed her voice presumably mimicking someone, “Oh you can’t stay awake? Just drink more coffee, that’s what I do.” She rolled her eyes.

He nodded in sympathy remembering similar conversations of his own, “It works for some people but sometimes there’s a tiredness that caffeine just doesn’t help-”

“Exactly!” She motioned emphatically with her hands. “Thank you! See you get it.”

He smirked a little, filing away the little fact that she talked with her hands when she was excited. “To answer your question-” 

He hesitated for a second debating how honest to be. He wasn’t embarrassed to be narcoleptic but fully explaining would take too long and wouldn’t help her. He changed course and simplified, “-I changed some lifestyle things, put more emphasis on getting enough sleep, eating healthier that sort of thing.” All technically true. “But I had the freedom to do that, which I know not everyone has.” 

The smile faded from her eyes, “Well I’m glad that’s working for you,” She said sincerely. 

“Senior capstone projects plus a full work schedule don’t really lend themselves to things like sleeping or eating anything that’s not ramen.” She seemed to find her way back to her previous positivity, “But hopefully after I graduate I’ll have time for things like vegetables and exercise.”

“What’s your capstone project on? Or I guess what are you studying in general?”

“I’m studying mechanical engineering. For capstone, we had the option to write a dissertation on a topic of our choice or help with one of the faculty lead research projects and I’ve always been more hands-on so I chose one of the faculty projects. We’re working on a new drone design, something that uses less power and has better stability in inclement weather. We’re hoping to have a working prototype by winter.”

Ben was impressed, “That sounds amazing.”

They discussed her school work for a while, ranging from the best food on campus to her favorite classes versus the ones she despised. He learned that she would be graduating in May, and she hoped to find work in the US somewhere that would sponsor her visa. 

When he asked why she explained, “Everyone I care about is here, there’s nothing tying me to England anymore.” She said with a shrug.

She looked around avoiding eye contact. Ben thought there was probably more to it than that but it wasn’t his place to pry. 

“Oh! The next stop’s mine.”She looked back at him and bit her lip momentarily. “Can I give you my number? I’ve really enjoyed talking to you.” 

“What? Oh, yeah. Of course, I’ll give you mine too.” She was faster getting her phone from her pocket. She opened a new text thread and handed it to him.

He quickly typed out his number and sent himself a text with his name and handed the phone back to her just as the train came to a stop.

“Thanks!” She barely made it through the door but turned back and waved as the train pulled away.

Ben found himself happier than he had been for a long time. He’d hoped she might talk to him today but hadn’t really expected it. But not only had she sought him out, but she also seemed to genuinely enjoy his company and had asked for his number. He felt that maybe he shouldn’t be this happy about such a mundane thing but to him it was wonderful.

His phone buzzed and the text on screen only improved his mood further.

Unknown Number: See you tomorrow Ben!

\---

Rey waited impatiently for the train to come to a stop at Ben’s platform. She craned her neck searching for a now-familiar head of dark hair. She found him quickly enough, it helped that he towered over the mere mortals of average height that swarmed the doors before they even opened. Ben was able to worm his way through the crowd and slid quickly into the seat beside her that was previously occupied by her bag.

He sighed gratefully and leaned his head against the wall with closed eyes. Rey appreciated the chance to look him over unnoticed. Before they started talking two weeks ago she thought he was handsome, in a sort of odd way, but the more she got to know him the more attractive he became in her eyes.

Today he was wearing one of her favorites, gray slacks, and the navy button-up that toed the line of fitting  _ too _ well. Not for the first time, Rey wondered if he was as solid as he looked. She followed the line of his shirt down to his hands, wishing she could hold them, find out if they were smooth or calloused, how warm they were, how it would feel to have her hand eclipsed in his.

She’s decided she’s done waiting. If he doesn’t ask her out today she’ll do it herself.

“Thanks for saving me a seat.” 

Rey snapped her gaze back up to his face but thankfully he hadn’t caught her looking.

“They blocked off the sidewalk on 3rd so I had to go around by the market and barely made it to the station before you did” He opened his eyes again and sat up smiling at her.

She grinned back, “I’m glad you made it. I've been looking forward to this all day.”

“Really?” His ears turned faintly pink and Rey suppressed a good-natured laugh. Hopefully, he’ll let her see his ears besides the glimpses that occasionally poke through his hair.

“Yes really. I like talking to you. But also...” She teased, “We didn’t get to finish the great debate of tacos vs burritos yesterday and I am determined to change your mind.”

“Oh, I see,” He rolled his eyes but failed to hide the mirth in them. “You still refuse to admit the superiority of the soft shell taco?”

“That was not the main point and you know it. If you recall from the very serious and irrefutable statistics I sent you last night you’ll know that the real issue is not whether tacos or burritos are better, but if a soft shell taco is really a taco at all and is in fact a burrito.”

“And by serious statistics you mean those four memes and the poll data you took from your two best friends who you no doubt bribed to agree with you.”

“Like I said, irrefutable statistics.” She managed to keep a straight face for approximately three seconds before she broke down and started laughing.

He chuckled deeply along with her. When she finally came up for air there was a new look in his eyes, something determined.

“I have a proposal for how we can settle this-”

Rey suppressed a hopeful smile. “Is that so?”

He shot her a look for interrupting but she knew he wasn’t genuinely annoyed. “Yes. There’s a Mexican place by the city library with the best tacos AND burritos. We could go on Friday? If you want to, that is.”

Rey beamed at him. Looks like she won’t have to ask him out after all. “To be clear, this is a date right?”

Ben nodded, “Yes.” His confidence seemed to waver, “Or at least I’d like it to be. But if you don’t-”

Rey reached out and gently placed her hand on his (it was just as warm and comforting as she’d hoped) to cut him off.

He looked down at their hands and tentatively turned his wrist to thread his calloused fingers through hers, dwarfing her hand completely, further confirming her hopeful musings.

“I’d like that.” She squeezed his hand, running her thumb along his pointer finger. “I’d like that a lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments make my day :)


	3. Foot, meet mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go on their date and the topic of narcolepsy comes up with... mixed results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rearranged the outline a bit so there are now only 10 chapters. I also changed how I format the texting. Hopefully it makes sense!

The restaurant Ben wanted to take her to was a few blocks away from the city center. In the name of practicality, they agreed to meet at the closest tram stop and walk together after they were both done for the day

Rose was of course the first one Rey told and she was ecstatic, jumping up immediately and swinging Rey around in their combined living room/kitchen.

“I told you! I told you, I told you, I told you! Epic. Romance.” Rose stopped spinning and pulled a now hopelessly dizzy Rey towards her closet. “We’re picking your outfit now because I know you’ll forget to if we don’t do it now.”

“I wouldn’t forget,” Rey huffed a little indignant, but went along with it anyway.

“Maybe not on purpose but your boss makes you work late on Thursdays and you’re usually too tired to remember your name when you get home. I’m honestly amazed you haven’t fallen asleep at work yet.”

Rey grimaced, picturing her odious boss’s reaction if she did ever fall asleep at work. “I think the only reason I haven’t fallen asleep is that I never get to sit down.” 

She opened her closet door and looked over the meager selection. “So, Oh Master of Fashion, what am I supposed to wear for this burrito/taco date?”

__

Rey wondered for about the millionth time that day if she should have fought harder when Rose insisted she wear her one and only dress. It was navy blue patterned with bright sunflowers with cap sleeves and a full pleated skirt that ended just above her knees. She didn’t mind wearing it but as she slipped her feet in and out of her flats waiting for the train in the late summer air she couldn’t help but second guess just how much of a date this was versus him wanting to prove a point.

_ Breathe Rey. It’s a date. He told you specifically it’s a date. _

She breathed deeply and slowly. The extra oxygen helped calm her anxious thoughts and she felt herself relax marginally. 

The journey to north city station was uneventful. When she arrived she looked around for Ben, who had texted her to let her know he was there already. The butterflies in her stomach had returned. What if she was overdressed or underdressed? What if she made a fool of herself? What if Ben finally came to his senses and left her like everyone else before they could truly begin?

“Rey?” 

The butterflies calmed at the sight of him. She looked him over appreciatively and she had to stifle a laugh that they matched with his suit and her dress. 

“You look good,” she said with a smile as she sidled up to him with a slight skip in her step.

“Oh-” He rubbed the back of his neck in that embarrassed but pleased all the same way. “-Thanks. You too. I mean- You look beautiful.” 

She watched as he noticed their matching color choice but unlike her he let out a small chuckle. 

“We were on the same wavelength I guess.” He took something out of his pocket, purposely hiding it in the palm of his hand. “Close your eyes for a second?” 

Rey quirked an eyebrow at him but complied with a smile. She sensed him step closer but still jumped a little in surprise. He brushed her hair aside and tucked something fuzzy behind her ear.

“Ben?” She laughed, “What-?”

“You can open your eyes now.”

She turned to look at her reflection in the glass pane of the station’s shelter. 

Tucked behind her ear was a bright sunflower, the small oft-neglected kind that grew along roadsides and in empty lots, the kind that children weave into crowns with dandelions and white top, the kind that never failed to cheer her up. 

Her favorite flower.

“You remembered.” She whispered, suddenly emotional. “I-” She choked up, no one had ever gotten her flowers before, let alone her favorite. It was by most accounts a weed, he would have had to go out looking for this, and in early September they were starting to fade meaning they were getting harder and harder to find. 

She looked up at him with shining eyes. “Thank you.”

“You like it?” Ben sounded relieved.

Rey nodded and stretched up to kiss his cheek. “I really do. No one’s ever given me flowers before.”

Ben took her hand, and she basked in the warmth and rightness of the gesture. “You’ll have to tell me your other favorites so I can find them all for you. You deserve nice things.”

He said this so simply, as though it didn’t go against years of threadbare blankets and barely scraping by, as though it was an indisputable fact. 

Maybe someday she’d believe it. 

And if she was very, very lucky, maybe Ben would be the one to show her how.

\---

The warmth of the day was barely beginning to fade by six pm. They walked together down the tree-lined streets, breathing in the heady scent of the sycamores and watching the bees flit between planter beds of late summer flowers, osteospermums, and petunias, salvia, and echinacea. 

The Mexican restaurant he led her to was a small local place in a converted historic home just before the hills up to the ritzy neighborhood beyond the city began. They were seated out on the patio beneath the hanging lights and surrounded by more planters, this time filled with different ornamental grasses and trailing vines.

Ben pulled out her chair for her before claiming his own, the black filigreed cast iron scraping loudly against the flagstone.

After their server dropped off menus and waters they fell into an easy conversation.

“I was mostly kidding about the ‘soft tacos are really just burritos’ thing,” Rey admitted.

Ben smirked triumphantly. “I thought so. It gave me an opening to ask you out though.”

She laughed lightly. “I’m glad you did. I was planning on asking you out that day if you hadn’t said anything.”

He shook his head, amused. “That’s one way to know it’s not a pity date.”

Rey choked on the sip of water she had just taken and desperately tried not to laugh/swallow. She glared at him without malice. “You have horrible timing.” 

“Or perfect timing.” He grinned cheekily and offered her a napkin which she accepted gratefully.

They ordered quickly, neither of them actually getting tacos or burritos to their mutual amusement. 

If Ben thought anything of the trio smothered enchiladas she ordered he didn’t say. Rey dug in happily, nearly moaning when the incredible sauce hit her taste buds.

“This is amazing.” She gushed, “Thank you for introducing me to this place, if I manage to find a job in Crait after graduation I am definitely going to become a regular, if only for this sauce.”

“I’m glad you like it-”

A loud crash directly behind them interrupted Ben and startled them both. 

Rey internally groaned as her heart started to pound in her ears and she felt the muscles in her arms go limp. 

_ Not now! _

She unsuccessfully tried to force her fingers to respond, her fork slipped out of her loosened grip and clattered against the table. 

Why did this always happen when she was startled? It was pathetic and frustrating and embarrassing and she hated it. 

At least she was already sitting down this time, she thought sourly. The last time had been when Finn had come up behind her while doing dishes and she dropped to the floor in a mess of noodle arms and legs.

__

Another employee hurried over with a broom and dustpan to help clean up whatever had broken. The movement drew her eyes to Ben who was staring at her with something akin to shock on his face.

She felt her face heat up, embarrassed, as she tried not to snap. “What?”

Ben slouched slightly now compared to before the crash and was rubbing his fingers together like he was trying to regain feeling in them. He kept staring at her, opening and closing his mouth with false starts until finally, “What do you know about narcolepsy?”

That was… not what she was expecting.

“Um, nothing really, people who have it fall asleep randomly?”

Ben pursed his lips together as though annoyed before switching abruptly to ask. “How often does that-” He gestured to the dropped fork, “happen? Is there a pattern to it?”

Rey felt confused from the verbal whiplash but answered his question anyway. “Um, it usually happens when I’m surprised, or if I laugh really hard… and I don’t know maybe once a week? Once every two weeks? Dropping things is new, it used to be just my muscles would go a bit limp but-” She thought back on the past few months and the increasing amount of times she’d ended up on the ground and unable to get up for a moment or two. 

She shrugged. “I dunno the last couple of months have been stressful, I’m probably just overly tired.” 

Ben hmmed noncommittally, apparently deep in thought.

They ate their food in tense silence for a few minutes. Confused and a little frustrated with him, Rey kept checking to see if his expressive eyes would give anything away but without success. 

Finally, desperate to break the silence Rey just asked what was wrong.

Ben tensed momentarily before exhaling and putting his fork down to finally meet her eyes. “Nothing’s wrong, I was just thinking. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just clammed up like that, that was rude of me.” Ben ran a hand over his face suddenly looking as tired as Rey felt.

Rey’s frustration eased, grateful for the sincere apology. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “Can I ask what you were thinking about?”

Ben nodded, “Of course, sorry, I know I’ve been acting weird...”

Rey smiled at him encouragingly, hoping to push him gently into actually explaining what was going on.

He breathed deeply once before starting, “Okay, so, what you described about having muscle weakness after strong emotion,” As he went on he started to speak faster and use his hands more as though he was excited, “What you described sounds exactly like cataplexy which is part of narcolepsy.”

Rey nodded slowly, “So that’s why you asked…”

“Yes, exactly. Anyway, narcolepsy isn’t just falling asleep randomly, a lot of people who have narcolepsy don’t even do that, it’s more like broken sleep, your sleep cycle is messed up so you go into REM really fast and never wake up feeling rested which makes you feel tired all the time and if you’re tired all the time then it’s easy to fall asleep in places you wouldn’t usually.”

He leaned forward, looked at her steadily as though trying to convince her. “Places like crowded trains for example, or classrooms, or anytime you sit down and think ‘I just need a minute’.”

Rey tensed her shoulders and gripped the bunched fabric of her skirt, not wanting to let his words make sense. She figuratively and literally could not afford to have some rare medical condition, no matter how accurate what Ben described was to her life. No, just no. That was not happening.

Rey pursed her lips together, trying to figure out how to steer this conversation back into safe territory. 

“Lots of people are tired all the time Ben.” She didn’t succeed in keeping her tone neutral and it killed her a little to watch his expressive eyes grow guarded. “I mean-” she struggled to tamp down her anxiety, Ben didn’t know what he was digging at. It wasn’t his fault that she had a lifelong dislike of doctors/all things medical. “-I’m a student, in my senior year working on a crazy intense capstone project. Being exhausted is kind of part of the deal.”

Ben leaned back, giving her more space. “You’re right. Of course. Forget I mentioned it.” 

She could practically see him building up his walls in an attempt to shield himself from the hurt in his eyes. Hurt she put there.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped.” She reached across the table and brushed her thumb lightly over his knuckles. “Medical stuff can be a touchy subject for me,” she said quietly.

She wanted to sigh with relief when she saw the tension leave his shoulders. She catches one last glimpse of something unknowable on his face before he distinctly takes the emotion and hides it away.

“That’s understandable.”

And that, as they say, was that.

____

The rest of the evening goes pretty well in a quiet, comfortable sort of way, as if this was their hundredth date not their first. Rey was admittedly a little disappointed that the evening was coming to a close so soon but appreciated his respect for her early shift tomorrow morning. Ben paid for dinner and held her hand on the walk back to the train station. It was… nice. Domestic maybe. 

Except, there was this lingering tension from their brief not-quite-argument that slowly crescendoed until Rey couldn’t help but address it on the ride home. She knew it would drive her crazy if they didn’t talk about it. The way she saw it, the whole argument was silly. The idea of her being narcoleptic was ridiculous. Granted she didn’t know much about it outside of what Ben had told her, but she felt like it was a problem for old people or at least not 22-year-olds.

“You know, it’s pretty funny-” She started, now that she had convinced herself to find humor in the situation, “-the idea of me having narcolepsy.”

Ben glanced at her briefly before continuing to stare at the window, watching the lights of the city speed by. “How so?” 

She noted a sort of wariness in his voice that she should have paid more attention to. 

Rey shrugged, stubborn to a fault and too focused on moving forward to think about the consequences. “I mean, it’s narcolepsy.” She said in a tone that clearly stated,  _ it should be obvious _ . “Even if the real condition isn’t like how it’s shown in the movies, what you described earlier still sounds pretty ridiculous. I mean, how does that even happen?” She chuckled lightly, too committed to hiding her worry that Ben may be right to notice how her words wounded him.

Ben let out a long-suffering sigh. “I don’t remember what causes it or if we even know. Researchers think it’s an autoimmune disorder, sometimes it can be hereditary...” He trailed off and mumbled something she didn’t quite catch over the rumbling of the train. “...for me.”

Before she could ask him to repeat himself he abruptly pointed out her approaching stop. “Would you like me to walk you home?” he offered.

“Oh, no,” she waved him off, not wanting to be a bother. “You don’t need to do that.” She touched the now slightly wilted sunflower still tucked behind ear, “You’ve already proven you’re a gentleman several times today and I wouldn’t want to make you walk all the way back and wait for the next train and then walk home yourself.”

Ben cooly raised an eyebrow at her. “It wasn’t about proving anything, it’s just how I was raised, so I thought I’d ask.” 

Feeling sheepish for putting her foot in her mouth, she was grateful when he stood and walked with her to the door as the train slowed to a stop. 

“Will you text me when you get home?” He sounded so unsure of himself that she reached up to kiss his cheek lightly just as the doors were opening.

“Of course.” She promised. “I had a great time Ben, thank you.” 

She stepped out onto the platform and turned back to him. “See you Monday?”

Ben gave her a sort of half-smile and she couldn’t help but miss the genuine smiles he’d shared with her earlier. “See you Monday.”

\--

Rose greeted her at the door and immediately demanded details. In the rush towards their apartment and Rose’s enthusiasm she completely forgot to text Ben. 

“Tell me everything, did he give you that flower? Did he pay for dinner? What’d you guys talk about? Did you kiss?  _ Please _ tell me you kissed.”

Rey smiled and let herself be lead to the couch. “Yes, yes, narcolepsy of all things, and no. Don’t hate me but I honestly didn’t really think about it. It’ll happen when and if it happens you know?”

Rose screwed up her face in despair, “Really? Rey, Ben seems like the epitome of the perfect gentleman. He’s not going to kiss you unless you make it extremely clear that you want him to kiss you. Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t walk you home.”

“Oh he offered but I told him no, I didn’t want to be a bother.”

“What??? Rey! If the date went well and he offers to walk you home that usually means he wants to kiss you. I mean he’s not going to kiss you in the middle of the train now is he?”

Rey groaned realizing Rose was probably right but didn’t want to admit it. “I don’t know, he seemed kind of off right before I had to leave, I doubt that’s what he was thinking about.”

“Or maybe he seemed off because that  _ was  _ what he was thinking about,” Rose countered.

The more Rey thought back on the last interaction the more she was convinced that what Rose suggested wasn’t it.

“Oh! I promised to tell him when I got home, give me a minute.”

Rose laughed. “What an original way to change the subject.”

Rey stuck her tongue out at her before tuning her out to text Ben.

_ Hey! Sorry, Rose distracted me right as I walked through the door. Home now. _

_ Ben: That’s alright. Thank you for letting me know. _

_ I wanted to ask, you said something else right before we got up but I didn’t quite hear you, something about narcolepsy being hereditary? _

The message was marked as seen almost immediately. She watched the three dancing dots that indicated he was typing come and go for a few minutes before she left her phone to go change into pajamas. 

Sidetracked by her usual bedtime routine, Rey forgot to check her phone until she retrieved it to charge it for the night. She went through a few notifications as she walked down the hall, she reached the unread message from Ben just as she paused outside Rose’s door intending to say goodnight. 

_ Ben: I said ‘at least it was for me’ _

Rey felt her heart stop as a puzzle piece she didn’t even know had been missing clicked into place. 

“Rose?” Rey called softly, “I think I may have blown my chance with Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer time: How Rey and Ben experience narcolepsy is largely based on my own experiences but I know narcolepsy is a bit different for everyone who has it. I'm trying to keep Ben's explanations pretty general but if I get something wrong or I describe something that's more unique to me that is why.
> 
> Be kind to each other.


	4. Apologies and Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings are resolved and a potential solution is offered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry It's a day late. I got inspired by a tumble post and wrote a silly vampire oneshot.  
> I don't remember if I said last chapter but I changed the texting format slightly.

Ben set his phone down after a few pointless minutes of waiting for a response. Staring at their text thread wouldn’t get her to read his last message any faster. 

Minutes turned into hours and Ben couldn’t resist checking one last time before going to bed that night. 

Still nothing.

Maybe she’d just gotten distracted. It wouldn’t have been the first time. Or maybe she just went to bed and didn’t see it, she did have to get up early after all.

His flimsy, hopeful excuses weren’t enough to deter the bitter self-deprecating reasons that had been drilled into his head for far too long.

_ She’s just not interested in you anymore if she ever was in the first place. She said narcolepsy was ridiculous and then you had to go and tell her you have it.  _

Ben flipped over and groaned into his pillow. It’d been years since he last heard Alastair Snoke’s cruel voice and yet still it haunted him. Anytime he did or said something even mildly embarrassing or made any sort of mistake, his old mentor/boss’s voice would come back and remind him exactly how much of a failure he was. It didn’t even matter that miserable excuse for a human being was dead and gone now, echoes of his daily reprimands remained.

Logically, he doubted that was what Rey actually thought, but what  _ was _ she thinking? He didn’t want to be pushy but not knowing was driving him crazy. There was no point in texting her now since she was almost definitely asleep. 

Hopefully, he’d wake up tomorrow and have an answer. And if not… well he’d just have to see what happens then.

___

Saturday morning came and went without a reply, and then the same with the afternoon and evening. 

By Sunday afternoon Ben had started thinking that maybe his earlier pessimism had actually been right. He started and deleted about a hundred different versions of ‘hey I noticed you never responded and I’m kinda freaking out so could you just tell me if you hate me now so I can move on to the next stage of grief?’ 

Maybe he should have said something but everything he typed out felt hollow or desperate or too late. He should have just let it be and not said anything. He shouldn’t have mentioned narcolepsy at all, shouldn’t have pointed out her cataplexy attack, shouldn’t have ever opened his big mouth in the first place. 

At least tomorrow he’d see her on the train and this would all get sorted out. For better or worse.

___

Rey kicked herself for about the millionth time for being such a wimp. She’d meant to text him back. She really had. She’d typed out the response and everything just apparently didn’t hit send and then didn’t realize her mistake until Sunday morning when she went back to the thread after wondering all day Saturday why he never responded and by then it was too late. 

Every time she went to text him and explain she chickened out, thinking he definitely hated her now after ghosting him on top of the horribly insensitive things she’d said. If she wanted any chance at fixing this she’d have to apologize in person. And she desperately wanted to fix this. 

Ben was kind and patient and good and Rey knew she’d regret it forever if she let him slip away.

She’d spent the entire weekend thinking about what he’d said, about how inexplicably exhausted she was  _ all the time _ , about the limp muscles and times she literally couldn’t get back up after falling. With time and reflection, she was grudgingly willing to admit that he may be right about her. Maybe she did have… an issue. 

Naming it felt like a transfer of power and she refused to let anything have power over her. She had worked too hard for too long just to scrape by and eventually gain her independence. Growing up she didn’t have time to be sick, if she didn’t work she didn’t eat so she had always just plowed through when she didn’t feel well. It had worked her entire life thus far and she saw no reason to change. 

As the train approached his stop her nervousness that had been growing all day reached its peak. She tried to reassure herself that everything would be okay. This was just a giant messy misunderstanding. They would get through this.

She took a deep breath to steady herself as they pulled up to the platform. The usual rush hour swarm gathered just behind the yellow line waiting to press onto the train. Usually, it was easy to spot Ben in the crowd due to his height but at first glance, he wasn’t among the commuters.

The knot of nerves returned with a dreadful lurch as a new set of questions invaded her shattered forced calm. What if he wasn’t here? Was he avoiding her? 

Stone cold dejection settled in her stomach as she fruitlessly scanned the crowd a second, third, and fourth time. After checking the entire length of the train she was forced to admit that he wasn’t on board.

_ He’s given up on you. Just like your parents. No one you care about will ever stay and why should they? You’re worthless- _

**No**

Rey grit her teeth and pushed the offending thought away. This was different. She refused to believe otherwise.

She could still fix this. She’d text him and explain everything, it would be okay. 

Rey found a spot to stand and hooked her arm around the post so she could have use of both hands before pulling out her phone.

In her fidgety, nervous state she’d barely looked at it on the train so far so when she opened it to find a waiting text from Ben she had to shake herself out of momentarily stunned disbelief.

_**Ben:** Sorry, I got caught up in work and I missed our usual train.  _

_ Just didn’t want you to panic  _

Instant relief flooded over her. It really was just a mistake. She quickly typed out a response with shaky fingers.

_ Thank you tbh I was sort of panicking _

_ I am so sorry for ghosting you _

_ Could we talk in person?  _

_ I feel so bad about this weekend and I want to apologize _

_ Are you going to be on the next train? I can get off at the next stop and wait for you _

_ Yeah I’ll be on the next one. Should be here soon. _

_ Talking sounds good. _

_ I feel like an idiot, today of all days to be late. _

_ You’re not an idiot _

_ See you soon _

The trains were only 15 minutes apart so she didn’t have to wait long. 

Rey found Ben quickly, by some miracle he’d managed to snag two seats. She dropped into the seat next to him, a little nervous but determined. 

“I’m sorry for never responding I just-” 

They spoke at the same time their words overlapping each other in perfect synchronization. 

Rey blinked at him once before they both busted out laughing.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Ben choked out, “You go first.”

Significantly less nervous now that the tension had eased Rey began her explanation. “I’m so sorry for all those horribly insensitive things I said and for ghosting you. I meant to text you back Friday night but I felt so awful about how rude I was and I just thought you must be so mad at me and the words just sounded hollow whenever I typed something out.”

Ben shook his head, “Honestly what you said was pretty standard from people who don’t really know what narcolepsy is, it didn’t even register to me as rude.”

Rey groaned. “That somehow makes it both better and worse. I’m still sorry in any case.”

Ben accepted her apology gracefully, “Don’t worry about it but thank you. So what happened this weekend then? I interrupted you, sorry.”

Rey waved him off, “You’re fine. Well, I guess to explain why I accidentally ghosted you, I fell asleep before I could decide on something to say, and then in the morning I was late and I panicked so I typed something out and I thought I hit send but I didn’t and like a moron, I didn’t check the actual thread until Sunday morning and by then I thought it was too late.”

Ben seemed to melt in relief of his own. He ran a hand over his face and smiled faintly at her, “I can’t even tell you how relieved I am. I may have been overreacting and panicking a bit myself. I thought it freaked you out too much and you didn’t want anything to with me anymore.”

“No!” Rey grabbed his hand and held it tightly, “No. I’m so dumb. I am so sorry I made you feel that way.” She caught his eyes and tried to stare her sincerity into his very soul. 

Ben gently lifted their clasped hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles softly. 

Rey blushed at the sweet gesture while Rose’s chiding about Ben wanting to kiss her replayed in her head. She couldn’t go back in time to take her stubborn independence back but she promised herself that if another opportunity came her way she wouldn’t ignore it this time. 

“I’m sorry too. I should have just gotten over my awkwardness and checked in with you. Hopefully, we’ve both learned our lesson about overthinking.”

“Definitely,” Rey agreed, glad to have the guilty weight off her chest. 

With her conscience eased and assured that Ben did not, in fact, hate her now she remembered the questions she’d had over the weekend. She wavered though, wanting to ask him but afraid to pry.

“I can see you thinking,” Ben chuckled. “Whatever it is just ask, I promise it won’t be the weirdest question I’ve gotten.”

“I’m more worried about it being too personal,” she hedged. “If it is please just tell me okay?”

“I doubt it will be but, thanks.”

He smiled encouragingly and Rey took it as the final sign to just go for it. “How did you figure out you’re narcoleptic? And when?”

“Those are both fine to ask. It was three, no four years ago that I got diagnosed. I’d been dealing with the symptoms by myself for a few years including through most of college. It didn’t even occur to me that there was an internal reason why I was so exhausted all the time. I just thought it was school then my internship, then my job. I used to work for First Order out in Coruscant-”

Rey raised an eyebrow, “Wasn’t that was the company whose CEO got caught funding all sorts of horrible illegal things?

Ben grunted darkly, “Yeah, Snoke was a real piece of work. He was the one that recruited me straight out of college and he saw weakness in things like working sane hours or sleeping for more than two hours a night. He actively discouraged me from talking to anyone about it. He knew about the cataplexy and told me that no one else would ever hire a programmer at my level that couldn’t ‘handle the stress’.”

Ben glowered, staring off in the past. “I got in a pretty bad wreck when a ladder fell a truck ahead of me and I had a cataplexy attack and lost control. Driving hasn’t been a problem for me since I got my meds but I still prefer not to when possible because of that. While I was in the hospital that’s when I finally talked to someone about it all. It took a while but I got my diagnosis and my meds which helped a lot but I was still stuck in that horrible job. Snoke noticed something was different and confronted me about it. After I refused to tell him I caught him trying to take my meds so I quit. Luckily I was gone by the time he was exposed and arrested.”

“That’s awful! I’m glad you got out of there. And I’m glad that you’re okay, that crash that must have been terrifying.”

“Thanks,” Ben mumbled. “I didn’t mean to dredge up old drama, sorry.” 

“No, don’t apologize, I asked and I want to know about your life.” Rey insisted.  _ I want to know everything about you _ went unsaid.

“Did you have any other questions about narcolepsy?” Ben offered.

“I do, yeah. How else would I know, for sure, if I- If I have… it?” Rey danced around the name but thankfully Ben didn’t comment and just followed her lead.

“Well, the simplest way to describe it is it’s broken sleep. So people who have it go into REM sleep a lot faster than most people and that matters because your brain skips out on the other stages of sleep so you never feel rested.” He explained.

He thought for a minute before asking, “Do you dream, even when you take short naps?”

Rey nodded.

“When you wake up does it ever feel like you can’t move or like your dreams have bled into reality?”

Rey didn’t quite get what he meant. “Maybe? Like sometimes I’ll be dreaming right before I wake up and I’ll be so sure it was real even after I think I’m awake.” She paused chewing on her lower lip to try and think of a recent example. “There was one morning a while ago that I thought my teeth had been knocked out and I felt for them with my tongue but I was still convinced they were gone until I properly awake enough to feel them with my fingers.”

Ben nodded along as though this was perfectly normal to him. “That’s a good example of sleep hallucinations, dreams bleeding into reality, and not being quite sure if you’re awake or not.” He seemed to retreat into a memory, growing pensive before quietly adding, “Sometimes I’m convinced I’m talking to my parents but... “

He pulled himself back up grunting once and running a hand through his hair, “I’ll realize it wasn’t real when I start getting ready for the day.”

There was history there that Rey desperately wanted to understand, not because she was nosy but because she hated to see how sad it made him. 

Before she could ask though Ben steered the conversation back on topic. “The next step would be to talk to a doctor and get a recommendation to see a sleep specialist.”

The slow acceptance that had been building screeched to a halt. No way. Just nope. Not happening.

Rey scrunched up her nose and frowned, resigning herself to never knowing for sure. She knew enough about American healthcare that specialists were expensive and her paltry insurance from the university almost assuredly didn’t cover that.

Ben squeezed her hand gently. “I know you said you’re uncomfortable with medical stuff. If you wanted a bit more confirmation for yourself without an official diagnosis you could get someone you trust to watch you sleep, see how quickly you start dreaming.”

Her first thought was Rose. Rey knew that she would be willing but that would require explaining why which she didn’t want to do yet. Rey couldn’t exactly ask her friend ‘Hey I need you to watch me sleep and tell me if I start dreaming really fast’ with no explanation. In an effort to respect Ben’s privacy (and if she were being honest it was also to hide her potential worries from Rose) she hadn’t shared any details about what the misunderstanding had been about. Rose and Finn, the only two people Rey trusted enough for this, were also the two people that would pester her the most relentlessly until she actually talked to a doctor. Rose had been not so subtly dropping hints for months. If she found out Rey thought there was a chance she may be narcoleptic Rose wouldn’t hesitate to physically force her to make an appointment. 

_ They’re not the only two people you trust… _

That was a thought. Who better to ask than Ben, who already knew what to look for. Plus then she’d get to spend more time with him, albeit in a potentially extremely awkward way. 

“What about you?” She asked startling him slightly, “Would you be willing to do it?”

“Me?” Ben blushed faintly, “But, why- I mean, I’d be happy to but are you sure?”

Rey nodded firmly, “You said someone I trust, and I trust you.” She stated this simply as though it wasn’t going against deeply ingrained self-preservation instincts. Teenage Rey would be furiously yelling at adult Rey if she had the chance.

Ben looked at her like she’d hung the very stars in the sky. “That- that’s not something I take lightly. Rey I...”

Rey smiled at him, suddenly shy despite all her previous bravado. It was one thing to ask someone to watch you sleep and another thing entirely to admit your feelings. 

“Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts! Thank you to everyone who has left comments or kudos they really make my day :)


	5. Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben spend the evening together and feelings develop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few items of housekeeping:  
> First off, I'm sorry for the delay in posting, school has started up again and I ran out of pre-written chapters. So updates will most likely be fairly sporadic but I am hoping to finish this by the end of February before the semester gets crazy and I have to start work on my dissertation.
> 
> Secondly, after much deliberation, I've decided to add mentions of religion to this story by writing Ben as Christian. He has always been so in my head while thinking about this story but I have decided to commit it to the page.  
> Religion is a topic that internet fandom culture shies away from and I've always found it a little frustrating when the majority of mentions I see of religion are either trite or just plain offensive.  
> Ben's faith won't play a significant part of the story but will definitely be alluded to from time to time in the remaining chapters. If this is something you don't particularly want to see in your Reylo fanfiction and you decide to stop reading this, then I wish you happy reading and that you may find content you enjoy.
> 
> Third, the tags have been updated, mostly to include the above.

Rey didn’t really think about logistics when she first asked Ben if he could watch her sleep. For reasons she didn’t want to examine too closely, something in her gut squirmed every time she thought of it. If she wanted to keep this from Rose that ruled out their basement apartment. So that really only left a hotel, which she wasn’t willing to consider, or his place.

How long did he need to watch her for anyway? Ten minutes? The whole night?  _ Several nights?  _

The questions took the back burner for a while, neither remembering to discuss it whenever they talked. It wasn’t until after their second date when they were up late texting that it came up again.

_ Ben: So I’ve been thinking, if you still want me to watch to see if you go into REM I think we might as well try and copy the sleep test _

_ As much as we can without the equipment anyway _

**_Which would mean…?_ **

_ For the real thing they stick a bunch of wires to your head and have you stay the night at the hospital mostly to see if you have sleep apnea and then you take five naps during the day and see how long it takes you to fall asleep and then go into REM for each nap. _

_ You could come home with me on a Friday night and then on Saturday you could try the naps _

**_Five naps in one day… that sounds like a lot_ **

**_I’m not scheduled for this Saturday does that work for you?_ **

\-- __

The short walk from the end of the line station to Ben’s house was pleasant. The station had been in the center of the suburban town, next to city hall and the library but like most towns on the fringes of the valley, the town core quickly faded into rows of homes that got newer the further you went from the center. 

Rey didn’t often have any reason to come out to this end of the valley. The homes here were older with mature trees in the spacious yards, many of which had irrigation ditches instead of gutters that held about a foot of slow-moving water. A group of little kids played in the neighborhood park bathed in the golden glow of the late afternoon sun. 

She watched them playing with a pang in her heart, remembering her own lonely childhood. If she ever had children this is what she wanted for them, to be able to run and play with friends seemingly without a care in the world.

Ben turned a few houses down from the park and led her up the drive towards a light blue bungalow complete with a picturesque rocking chair on the porch and potted plants that lined the edge. Rey smiled at the brightly painted ceramic pots that seemed at odds with the sometimes brooding man that owned them. It looked homey--like somewhere a child would fondly remember growing up when they brought their own children back to grandparents waiting on the porch. 

She could picture a handful of raven-haired and hazel-eyed children playing in the yard, maybe drawing on the concrete drive with colorful chalk. In the blink of an eye, she watched them grow up, learning to ride a bike, watching the stars from the front steps, laying in the grass between their parents, explaining their worries without fear of judgment, all while knowing how deeply their parents loved them. 

She pictured herself lying in the grass, how she would reach over their child’s mop of unruly hair to tangle her fingers in their father’s, in Ben’s, own soft locks as they smiled at each other with their kids wedged snuggly between them-

“Rey?” Ben asked bemused, standing by the door holding it open for her, “You coming?”

Startled, Rey flushed but followed him in quietly, her mind reeling over her imaginings as she looked around curiously. The interior was spartan and borderline lifeless compared to the life she’d seen implied by the front yard. The front room had a handful of nice but slightly worn furniture like they’d been bought second hand. 

They passed through to the kitchen which looked slightly more lived in with a loaf of bread on the wrap-around counter and a few abandoned dishes stacked neatly in the sink. The only wall hangings were a plain analog clock and a calendar with an image of a wooden pier stretching out onto a lake that still showed August despite them being over two weeks into September.

“I know it’s a bit sparse, I spend most of my time downstairs or in the backyard,” Ben admitted, rubbing at the back of his neck

Rey shrugged, “I’m still just impressed you have an actual house with a yard and everything.”

Ben looked a bit sheepish and opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by sudden rustling before a massive shaggy black dog wiggled through a custom dog door that was still a bit too small for him.

“Kylo! No! Go back outside!” Ben moved to intercept the furry beast but the dog just barked loudly and whipped around him. 

He, Rey assumed it was a he, ran up to her and for a moment she thought he was going to jump but he just circled her, barking happily seemingly unable to decide between licking her offered hand and sniffing at her shoes.

“Hi boy,” Rey cooed bending down to pet him, “Who’s a good boy?”

“Not him,” Ben grumbled. “Sorry I should have asked if you were okay with dogs. I can put him outside if he gets annoying. Despite looking like a hell hound he’s just a big, derpy-”

Kylo barked and Rey could have sworn it was in disagreement.

“-Pushover.” Ben rolled his eyes and came over to scratch the dog's ears, “Yes, you, you big lump.”

“You never mentioned you have a dog,” Rey remarked, scooting a little to the left to avoid Kylo’s tail that kept knocking into her shins with a surprising amount of force. 

Ben shrugged, “I guess it never came up, I got him pretty soon after I moved here. My, er well, my therapist suggested it. Though it might help me deal with all of the garbage I put up with under Snoke.” He admitted nervously.

“Has it helped?” Rey asked softly, brushing his hand with her own. Ben caught her gaze and smiled just a little.

“Yeah,” Ben ruffled the dog’s ears once more before standing, “Yeah it has.”

Rey followed him into his back yard at his invitation, Kylo running after them excitedly.

He had a small concrete patio by his back door with a comfy looking lawn chair that looked well used. The yard was well cared for but fairly simplistic. There were tall skinny trees lining the fence on one side with a much larger oak in the center of the grass. Kylo’s doghouse was next to the house. Rey watched him run in and come out clutching some sort of toy before barreling into Ben’s legs and dropping the toy expectantly at his feet. 

Ben stooped down and threw it before continuing on. He had a garden patch by the back fence that he happily led her through pointing out the different plants with an air of a proud parent

He set to work picking ripe tomatoes while Rey wandered admiring the plants. The way the raspberry canes arched, heavily laden with fruit, the creeping tendrils of green beans that curled around their trellis. 

“Go ahead and eat as many raspberries as you want, I have way too many.” Ben encouraged her, somewhat muffled behind the wall of tomatoes.

Rey happily ate a handful (or three or four) while Ben worked. She wiped the lingering red stain from the berries on her jeans. “Anything I can help with?” She asked, brushing his arm.

Ben smiled at her and soon the outstretched hem of her shirt was an impromptu basket filled with tomatoes and beans. 

The evening continued on quietly. They ate outside after Ben made them dinner, something he called ‘garden goulash’ which was some of all the vegetables they’d picked plus some bacon and cheese. Kylo begged at Ben’s feet for a while before switching to Rey, hoping that a new person would be more inclined to share some bacon with him. 

They stayed outside the entire evening, just playing with Kylo, listening to the crickets chirp, and watching the sun go down in a blaze of pink and gold. Rey honestly couldn’t remember a time she’d been more content.

The easy conversation and playful flirting had kept her mind off of the reason why she was here in the first place but with the sun gone and early autumn chill setting in they retreated back into the house and she couldn’t avoid it any longer.

Ben seemed to be of a similar mindset and was the one to bring up the elephant in the room. “For tonight I think it’ll work best if I sit next to you for a while after you fall asleep.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “I, uh, only have the one bed, never really saw the point of setting up a guest bedroom. So I’ll take the couch.”

“What? No! I’m not kicking you out of your bed.” Rey refused.

“You’re not kicking me out,” he grumbled, “I’m offering. The point is to have you sleep as normally as possible which isn’t going to happen on my lumpy second-hand couch.”

“That just makes me feel worse about you sleeping on the couch.” Rey snarked back. She stepped closer to him and rubbed his arms comfortingly. “Look, we’re both adults. We can sleep next to each other, it’ll be fine. Isn’t this all in the name of scientific discovery anyway” 

She cringed at her word choice, knowing that at its heart there was much more at play here than just him being nice and offering to observe her sleep. She hoped the forced blase attitude hid the internal conflict warring between wanting to be close to him but also knowing that they hadn’t even kissed and maybe this was pushing things too far. What if he wasn’t interested in her like that anymore? Was that why he volunteered to take the couch? 

She stomped down on the insecurities as they rose. No need to jump to conclusions. That’s what got her in trouble last time.

“Right…” Ben said slowly. “Well, I guess in the interest of scientific discovery that would be easier. Why don’t you get settled and I’ll be along in a few minutes.”

Rey brushed her teeth and changed into her comfy flannel cacti print pajama bottoms, all the while thinking how she dearly wanted to kick herself for once again putting her foot in her mouth. 

Instead of going directly to bed, Rey headed back into the living room to grab the phone charger she’d forgotten in her bag. She stopped short at the end of the hall when she heard Ben talking softly to someone, or maybe himself. A large book lay open on the coffee table in front of him. He was leaning forward on the couch facing away from her, with his elbows propped on his knees and his forehead resting against his clasped hands. 

His voice was faint, like he was barely mumbling “-really like her and I’m afraid of driving her away. Please, help me know what to do-”

She froze, realizing that she was about to walk in on him praying. Had she known he was religious? She didn't care if he was, most of the friends she'd made at university, including Rose, belonged to one church or another. She knew some people were more open about it than others so she wasn't offended that Ben had never mentioned it.

Determined not to make a sound, she transferred her weight slightly, planning to slip quietly back down the hall, not wanting to intrude on something so personal.

Only for the floorboard to creak loudly.

Rey scrunched her eyes shut in embarrassment hoping the moment would pass without question. Maybe he would assume it was Kylo?

“Rey?” 

Nope.

She tentatively stepped forward into the soft light spilling from the lamp. “Hi.” She wrung her hands behind her back cringing at her awkwardness. “Sorry, I -uh- forgot my charger in my bag,” she gestured lamely to the beat-up backpack sitting by the front door. “I didn’t mean to interrupt…”

Ben closed the book that Rey could now identify as _The Bible_ and stood. “Don’t worry about it, I was done anyway.” 

He bent to pick up the backpack and turned off the lamp leaving them in the dim light seeping in from the porch light. He handed the bag to her, their fingers brushing slightly. She grasped the strap but made no move to take the bag from him. Their hands were still touching, his so much warmer than hers, the bag was totally forgotten as they gazed at each other, both paralyzed by the near-sacred intimacy of the moment.

“I-” Rey nearly let the words she’d overheard spill out of her. How easy it would be, in this moment, to admit to how deeply she already cares for him. To admit to how, in the course of one idyllic evening, he has given her a glimpse into a life that she’s felt a longing for her entire life. 

Ben tilted his head slightly, questioning, encouraging her to finish. 

“Scientific discovery was an excuse,” She mumbled, at last, changing course at the last second. Some things were still too big to put into words. “I just wanted to sleep with you-”

Rey was suddenly endlessly grateful he’d turned out the light so he couldn’t see how much she was blushing. “I mean! Not like that! Well I mean, yes but-” She cringed. “That’s not what I meant! I meant, literally, sleep with not-” 

She finally let her hand swing back to her side, her bag scuffing the floor loudly in the awkward silence. “Can we forget I said that?”

She kept her eyes fixed firmly on her shoes. This was probably- no definitely- the most embarrassing moment of her life. From now on she just wasn’t going to talk. Ever. Problem solved. 

Her eyes flicked towards the movement as Ben stepped closer. 

He gently tilted her chin up. She didn’t resist but still refused to meet his eyes, hoping he couldn’t see the light reflecting off the frustrated tears that were beginning to appear.

“Rey,” He murmured, “Look at me, it’s okay. We’ve both been thinking about it. Though I have a feeling we both know that now’s not the time.”

She nodded once, content to leave the conversation there. The knot of tension slowly dissipated as she let out a deep breath and finally looked at him. 

There was no judgment in his eyes, just compassion, and understanding. “But I do have a question…” He slid his hand from under her chin to cup her face, his thumb caressing her cheekbone softly. 

Rey leaned into the touch, basking in the warmth of such a caring gesture, as her eyes fluttered closed.

The silence was absolute save for the quiet rustle of fabric as he leaned in close, pressing his forehead to hers, and whispered, “May I kiss you?”

She breathed in deeply, wanting to remember everything about this moment for the rest of her life. 

“Please-” 

Before the word is even fully finished his lips are pressed to hers with such gentle longing it makes her weak at the knees.

Every other thought ceased to matter because she was finally kissing Ben. She let go of the bag and swung her arms around his neck, reaching up to press more firmly against his plush lips. She relished the softness of them as they kissed. 

It was nothing like she’d ever experienced before, all others would pale in comparison from now on. She internally balked at the thought of ever kissing another man after Ben and in that moment she knew that he was it for her. Had she ever felt this rush of confirmation before? 

He threaded his fingers through her hair and she just knew that no matter what happened, she only wanted to be with Ben Solo.

The thought was exhilarating yet terrifying at the same time, made all the more potent but the way his hands moved down to her waist to pull her closer still. 

They broke the kiss slowly, neither wanting it to be over but eventually, Rey found herself burrowing into his shoulder as he held her to him. She held onto her revelation like a tender flame, to be hidden for now while nurtured by this budding romance. The timing wasn’t right, but one day soon, probably sooner than she expected, she would tell him.

She couldn’t yet shake the lingering childhood fear that nothing good ever lasted, that people will always leave. But for Ben, for the possibility of them, she was determined to try.

\--

For as much nervous anticipation Ben has felt over this night, the task of observation didn’t end up being awkward. 

They settled into bed quietly. Ben sat up against the headboard in an effort to keep himself awake while Rey burrowed under the blankets. She’d taken her hair out of her signature three buns and Ben marveled at how beautiful she looked with her hair down all fanned out against the gray pillowcase. 

A section of hair fell in front of her face, stretching towards him. He couldn’t help but twirl the lock between his fingers.

“You know,” Rey mumbled sleepily, “When I pictured our first kiss, I was never wearing pajamas with little cacti on them.”

Ben chuckled and went back to playing with her hair, having paused at her pronouncement. 

“Are you disappointed?” He asked, clearly teasing.

Rey shook her head slowly and opened her eyes, peering up at him through her lashes. 

“It was perfect.” She sighed with a yawn before closing her eyes once more and snuggling further under the blanket.

Ben wholeheartedly agreed. Seeing her in his space--how carefree she was, how she was with Kylo, even the wistful smile he noticed as she stared at the neighborhood kids playing in the park--all of it had led him to finally kissing her, and now to this. 

He couldn’t resist picturing a future where she belonged here with him in their home, in their bed, with their lives bound together. 

He nearly chuckled to himself, watching her get comfortable, from the way she was currently hogging the blankets she certainly looked at home already. She curled in on herself, clutching the blankets to her chest with balled fists tucked under her chin leaving only her head exposed. Watching the slight rise and fall coinciding with her breathing he couldn’t help but appreciate the domesticity of the moment. 

Ben watched over those fleeting moments between waking and sleeping and couldn’t help but think that he’d like to fall asleep next to this woman for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me! I hope you enjoyed the chapter as this is honestly my favorite so far.


	6. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey confronts the fact that she probably has narcolepsy and does something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience. The next chapter is written and will be out next week but after that, it may be a while because I have three term papers due at the beginning of March that I am severely behind on.
> 
> Note, I am not qualified to talk about insurance. At all. I only know my own experience with getting diagnosed with narcolepsy and even with insurance, it was not cheap. I'm also not an expert on how the US healthcare system works for those on student visas. How it works in the story is loosely based on the requirements and limitations UK student visa holders have to abide by.
> 
> Beta credit to [Andrina_Nightshade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrina_Nightshade/pseuds/Andrina_Nightshade)! 
> 
> cw //  
> 1) A brief dream sequence with ominous creepy bugs so if that's not your jam skip the first section of italics  
> 2) A doctor's appointment is vaguely described in the last section starting with "True to her word," a synopsis is in the endnotes

_Help..._

_Rey curled in on herself as it scuttled towards her._

_Her heart frantically pumped adrenaline through her veins, yet she couldn’t move. Every limb felt heavy like sandbags were covering her and every second she was sinking deeper under their weight._

_She feebly threw her hand towards it, but it got tangled in the spider's web that encased her. Rey could feel it on her hand and wanted to pull back, to remove the disgusting threads but as soon as she did that her hand was crawling with tiny black dots._

_All the while the horrid black thing came ever closer with its shining pinchers that clicked and iridescent wings that buzzed loudly_

_She wanted to run, to scream. Desperately she-_

Rey opened her eyes.

Dream.

It was just a dream.

She needed to wake up now, she didn’t want to go back.

Everything was so heavy. Just another moment and she’d be ready.

Her eyes closed.

_Kylo nosed the door open and padded softly into the room. The great black dog came when called, his tail swinging happily behind him._

_He was so tall he didn’t even need to put his front paws on the bed, just rested his head on the mattress near her face with that classic puppy dog face. She pet his ears affectionately murmuring words of endearment._

_He scooted forward, furry neck reaching to lick her face._

_“Kylo stop…” She giggled, turning her face away, scrunching her nose in laughter._

_The dog merely changed tactics, moving from her face to her now exposed neck._

“Kylo’s not here.” The words sounded, distant, hazy. Like they were coming from the surface while she sunk deeper into the murky water.

_She blinked. Kylo was indeed nowhere to be found._

_She must have been dreaming before. There was no dog in the room, just Ben. They faced each other in the middle of the bed, limbs tangled together._

_Ben moved to press another kiss along the column of her throat._

_“There are so many things I want to do to you.” Ben mouthed the promise into her skin, each word accompanied by the lingering heat of his lips._

_“I want you to do them,” she whispered, “All of them. I want everything with you.”_

_Her fingers tangled in his hair as he moved above her. His form shadowed by the covers in the weak morning light._

_“Ben, please…” She begged._

_He caressed her shoulder lightly before leaning in to-_

  
  


“Rey.”

  
  


_His mouth was on hers, his body crushing her under him, an immovable weight that sent fire through her veins-_

  
  


“Rey wake up. I know it feels real but it's not. You need to wake up.”

She squinted at the bright daylight pouring through the open window. Ben was hovering beside her, one hand gently shaking her shoulder. 

Everything felt leaden. She tried to move her arms but they refused to budge and just stayed there, pathetically thrown across the covers. 

“Come on,” He coaxed, “Stay with me this time.”

She groaned, wanting desperately to roll over and hide. She could only remember flashes of her dreams. Fear and adrenaline from, something. Spiders? Then-

“Was Kylo in here? She croaked.

Ben shook his head. “No, I heard you mumble his name, you know how we talked about sleep hallucinations?”

Rey forced her head to nod slowly. “Yeah,” She smacked her lips, “Yeah, I get what you mean.” She felt her face heat up as she remembered fragments of her last dream. “Did I -um say anything else?”

Ben pursed his lips, looking conflicted, “You did yes…”

Mortification can be an excellent stimulant. 

She managed to flip herself over so she was no longer facing him. With her face pressed into the pillow, she mumbled an apology. 

Ben rubbed her back soothingly. “Hey, it’s okay. You didn’t say much, nothing overly embarrassing. Promise. Whatever you dreamed about it’s fine don’t worry about it.”

Rey grunted a curse into the pillow.

“How are you doing motion-wise?” He asked, thankfully changing the subject. “Limbs still noodles?”

She sighed. "Yeah usually wears off in a few minutes but you know that." She rolled back over to face him again. "So how'd I do?"

“Well, you fell asleep and started dreaming in less than five minutes which is pretty standard for narcol-” Ben cut himself off, remembering her preference. “Anyway, the day naps are supposedly more important for diagnosis so we’ll see what happens.”

\--

Going into this, Rey had thought that taking five naps in one day would be difficult, especially since they were all supposed to take place between 8 am and 4 pm. It didn’t turn out to be easy per se but she did sleep each time. For a few of them, she’d been sure that she hadn’t actually drifted off and refused to believe Ben that she had until he showed her the time. 

Their little experiment left her thoughtful. She’d experienced everything that Ben said was indicative of narcolepsy. Thinking back over the last year or so, Rey struggled to remember a time she wasn’t exhausted, a time where it was easy to wake up or stay awake. She was doing alright for now but what about the future? Did she really want to live like this for the rest of her life because of stubborn pride?

That night, when Rey was back in her own bed, missing Ben’s warmth, she finally allowed herself to give it a name. 

She (probably) had narcolepsy.

Summoning up said stubborn pride, Rey chose to direct it elsewhere. She had a problem to solve. 

She just had to look at it clinically, like a malfunctioning engine. Based on the parameters of their experiment and observations of her symptoms, she most likely had narcolepsy. That’s the hypothesis. So then the next step is further experimentation. Which in this case is… Rey grimaced. She’d already asked Ben what would be next and that meant talking to a specialist, setting up a _real_ sleep test which meant doing all that again but with wires stuck to her head.

How much would that even cost? Maybe by some miracle, she’d be able to afford it? When she’d been accepted to the university they required her to have some type of insurance either through the school or otherwise. At the time she’d been more than happy with the bare minimum coverage provided by the university. 

One hour, a lot of frustration, and several curses shouted into her pillow later, Rey had come to the conclusion that her GP could refer her to a specialist but no, the school did not cover specialists, meaning she would have to pay out of pocket and the price range Google provided was discouraging, to say the least.

She briefly considered what this all would have been like back in England. It may have taken a while, but she would have been able to see a specialist. 

Rey grunted sardonically. That would have required her to acknowledge she had an issue, something she definitely would not have been able to do if she were still living under Unkar Plutt’s roof. She’d barely been given the necessary vaccinations to attend school. The only time he ever took her to the doctor was when her teacher called him when she came to school feverish and he was scared that her caseworker might find out.

But what to do now?

Though she hated the thought, she’d grit her teeth tomorrow and make an appointment. To keep herself accountable maybe she should tell Rose everything. Rey reluctantly knew it was time to let her friend in. 

  
  


\--

Monday came and Rey woke up irritated as per usual. She’d been dreaming about a maths test that made no sense. She’d been back in high school but was trapped in one of those stupid chair/desk combination things. None of the questions made sense, in the dream she’d cried out of frustration. She knew this material, how it worked, why wasn’t it working? And then there were random philosophical questions about the purpose of life and love thrown in. 

The entire thing left her feeling inadequate, to say the least. 

Her heart plodded along slowly and steadily while she waited for the rest of her to get the message to wake up. She rubbed her thumb and forefinger together in little circles as Ben had suggested. The small motion helped drive the paralysis away, and soon enough she had full use of her arms again.

Blearily, she checked the time only for her stomach to drop violently.

She wasn’t just late. Oh, no, this was much worse. Her class started ten minutes ago. The class that took nearly an hour to physically get to and was only fifty minutes long.

People usually panicked now, didn’t they? Jumped out of bed with a fresh wave of determination? Rey used to do that on the rare occasion she was late. When did that stop?

There was no point trying to get to that class now. Her next one wasn’t until 11:30, she could go back to sleep for another half hour before waking up again to make the train. It’d be cutting it close but she’d get to sleep more. 

_You said that last time and you ended up being late to that class too._

The siren call of sleep lulled her worries away. She was warm under her blankets, a pleasant haziness clouded her thoughts, feeling as though she was being filled with white noise. The vague thought that she hadn’t set an alarm breezed through but Rey was already lost. 

The familiar scene began to play out in her mind's eye as she drifted deeper in.

_Soft grass underfoot, tiny flowers that danced in the wind on the meadowed hill that stretched down towards the lake. The mountain that towered overhead, stalwart in its protection of the idyllic setting._

_Cradled by the soft grass Rey closed her eyes and fell._

\---

Her eyes snapped open. How long had she slept? Did she even sleep? She hadn’t set an alarm. _Crap._ She checked her phone. Only a few minutes had passed.

She heaved a sigh of relief, simultaneously cursing her previous self for sleeping again at all. 

Within a few whirlwind minutes, she was out the door and waiting for the train. Feeling proud of and confident in herself once more scheduled the appointment and texted Rose.

_I need you to hold me accountable to something_

_Sure. What’s up?_

_I made a doctors appointment about my sleep problem_

_I need you to make me actually go to it_

_!!!!!_

_IM SO PROUD OF YOU_

_Wait_

_Am I missing something?_

_Because I swear like two weeks ago you were insisting it was fine when I suggested you see someone_

_Ben may have convinced me_

_Really???_

_Youre telling me that the man youve gone on 2 dates with has accomplished the impossible and gotten you to make a doctors appointment_

_We’ve gone on 3 now btw_

_And he didn’t even bring it up really he just got me thinking about it and that it is probably a good idea_

_THATS IT IM PLANNING YOUR WEDDING_

_Seriously that is even more impressive_

_Also_

_3 dates? Details please_

Rey filled Rose in on her weekend with Ben on her walk to class; a pointless humanities credit mostly filled wide-eyed freshmen that she and Rose were suffering through together. She slipped into her seat next to Rose who continued their conversation without preamble.

“To be clear, you slept with him but didn’t _sleep_ with him?” 

“Rose!” Rey hissed, conscious of the eyes and ears now trained on them.

An over-eager freshman boy with the ridiculous frat boy haircut was less subtle than the rest, literally leaning closer to hear better. Rose shot him a disgusted look. “Buzz off kid.”

Once the offender had guiltily settled back in his own seat and made a show of digging through his backpack Rey continued. “Literally only sleeping.” 

“Alright, alright, I just wanted to check.” Rose defended. Switching gears, she asked. “When’s your appointment? So I can pester you about it.”

Rey inwardly relaxed the tensions she’d been building, ready to defend her choices. She knew Rose would never judge but she still felt nervous discussing the more unique aspects of her relationship with Ben. When did discussing doctor’s appointments become easier than discussing her love life?

"Tomorrow before class."

Rose nodded. "That works out well, you can just come with me to campus tomorrow since I have to be here earlier than you anyway. That way you have to get up."

Satisfied, they both paid attention to the class.

\--

True to her word, Rose had made sure Rey got to her appointment. Rey knew that she didn’t strictly _need_ to be mothered like this. She could have forced herself to go despite her deeply rooted desire _not_ to. Rose could at times be the very definition of ‘The Mum Friend’ and occasionally Rey was happy to let herself be mothered a little bit.

These were the types of musings that filled her head while she waited in what she supposed was a typical exam room. She had chosen to sit in the rubbery black chair in the corner rather than on the paper-covered exam table. She’d eyed it with disdain when the nurse had shown her in. Hopefully, Dr. Kalonia wouldn’t need her to move.

She considered texting Ben but decided against it. The temptation to share her worries about insurance with him was strong but her pride won out every time. 

Too anxious to keep scrolling through her phone Rey looked around the small space. There were a few posters adorning the wall, one about anti-stress exercises, a list of birth control options and their differences, and a map of Crait’s walking trails. 

Just when she was almost bored enough to start counting ceiling tiles Dr. Kalonia knocked and entered. 

The appointment went smoothly. Dr. Kalonia put Rey at ease, never making her feel like her symptoms weren’t significant, something Rey had been anxious about. To Rey’s relief, Dr. Kalonia readily agreed to set her up with a referral to a sleep specialist. 

As their discussion was wrapping up Rey felt comfortable enough to voice her concerns over insurance. 

Dr. Kalonia gave her a sympathetic look. “Yes, that’s a common concern for students, especially international ones. I can send you home with some resources that may be able to help though I’m not overly familiar with how they work for students on visas.”

Rey privately doubted they would be any help since her visa didn’t allow her to access public funds.

“In any case,” Dr. Kalonia said as she stood and motioned Rey to follow her back into the hall. “I recommend making the specialist appointment now, as sleep specialists tend to be booked out for several weeks up to a few months. Hopefully, it will give you time to figure something out insurance-wise.”

Confirming that Rey wanted to make the appointment now Dr. Kalonia bid her goodbye and handed her over to one of the nurses to make the appointment. 

Rey left the clinic a few minutes later with a slip of paper with the information for the appointment in late November. 

Two months.

Her job paid her well enough and she hadn’t accrued _too_ much student debt due to her scholarships. She could save up enough to cover the specialist appointment in two months. Hopefully. She didn’t know how she was going to pay for the sleep test. Assuming she got that far. But that would come later.

She just had to get through the next two months.

Easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey's doctor's appointment: Rey is bored and considers texting Ben but decides not to, she prefers keeping her worries to herself. Dr. Kalonia agrees with Rey's assessment that she may have narcolepsy and sets her up with an appointment with sleep specialist two months from now. Rey leaves hopeful but still worried about being able to pay for her appointment. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! If you're wondering when that Marriage of Convenience tag is gonna start coming into play the answer is it's coming. (Next) :)


	7. Setbacks and Solutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things do not go according to plan. Ben offers a solution.

“Peli!” Rey shouted for her boss over the usual clatter of the garage. “I thought you said this Ford would be an easy fix.”

While this week had started off hopeful, with her appointment on Monday and an aced dynamics test, by Friday Rey was dragging. Mentally, emotionally, physically, the week had been taxing. Just a few more hours and then she could clock off, go home, call Ben for a bit, and then blissfully, finally, sleep.

Rey glared at the clunker she was working on waiting for Peli to make her way through the scattered parts and tools. 

“I never said it’d be easy,” Peli corrected with her trademark snark, just simple. What’s wrong with it besides the suspension? I didn’t have time to check under the hood.” 

Peli Motto had been Rey’s boss for three years since she first moved to Crait. Both women had been thrilled, (Rey more openly than Peli) to have found another female mechanic. Peli drove a hard bargain whenever she could but she was fair and took the time to teach Rey the more technically accurate side of vehicular maintenance where her junkyard education had been lacking.

With a grunt, Rey added the suspension to the growing list. “The alternator’s completely shot, the battery’s dead, the belts are stretched out, and it desperately needs an oil change to name a few.”

Peli grinned, “The owner must have more money than sense, just said to fix it, didn’t care about the cost.” She clapped Rey on the shoulder, “I’ll never understand them, but I sure am grateful for people who are willing to pay to get the easy stuff done.”

Rey rolled her eyes but laughed anyway, Peli did have a point. Imagining the verbal smackdown she’d like to give the Ford’s owner she reached for her tools.

\---

“Rey.”

“Rey!”

“REY!”

Someone pulled her out by her ankles, the creeper she lay on squealed loudly in protest. Blinking rapidly Rey tried to focus on her surroundings, the lights were blinding, everything was so… loud. Why was everything so loud? Peli said something but the words were hard to make out in the midst of all the clanging and whirring.

Groaning, Rey sat up, narrowly missing smacking her forehead on the front bumper of the Ford. 

The Ford.

Oh no.

No no no no no no no.

Heedless of the grease Rey covered her face in her hands. “I fell asleep.” 

Fear and adrenaline warred for dominance. She was so fired. Peli would fire her because obviously having a mechanic that  _ falls asleep underneath cars _ is a bit of a liability. No job meant no income, no income meant- besides the obvious of not being able to afford rent and other basic necessities- there was no way she would be able to pay for her appointment. No appointment equals no solutions, no solutions equals a lifetime of perpetual exhaustion and-

“Ya think?” Her boss snapped, interrupting Rey’s panicked spiral. “My office. Now.”

Rey scrambled to her feet, frantically trying to recall what had happened. She had been working on the suspension for over an hour and let her head rest on the creeper for a moment. 

She swore under her breath. She’d been so good at controlling it at work, only the occasional breakroom nap had managed to slip in and now she’d gone and fallen asleep literally beneath a car. 

Peli closed the door of her messy office behind Rey and sat heavily in the worn office chair behind her desk littered with invoices. 

She was silent for a long moment, staring Rey down with pursed lips and steepled hands. “Are you okay?”

Rey sank into the hard plastic chair shoved up against a filing cabinet and let a shaky breath. “Honestly no.” 

Peli waited for her to explain but the words kept getting stuck in her throat. “I-” She swallowed and started again. “I can barely stay awake most days. I’ve been careful, doing everything I can think of to make sure I’m alert while I’m here. But I had a lab report due last night and…” Rey cringed and cut off the excuse that didn’t matter. “I’m looking into why I’m so tired all the time, I have an appointment with a sleep specialist in November.” 

Peli nodded once, “Good.” 

Neither said anything for a long time, both of them knowing exactly what was coming next. 

Eventually, her boss sighed and kneaded her brow. “Look, Rey… You’re the best employee I’ve ever had. But I’m not blind and I’ve noticed how hard it is for you to stay awake some days. I can’t have you working in the garage if you can’t stay awake. It’s just frankly not safe. I nearly had a heart attack when the other tin heads said you hadn’t moved for a while.”

Rey wiped the moisture gathering in her eyes away. She wouldn’t cry. Not now. “I understand. I know it’s a liability-”

Peli cut her off. “I don’t care about liabilities, I care about you kid! I care about you not getting crushed, or burned, or hurting yourself with literally any of the machinery we use that you have to be fully awake to operate safely.”

Rey nodded. A part of her was touched by the genuine concern radiating from Peli but the crushing dread was the main emotion keeping her too choked up to speak.

“I’m not firing you,” Peli said firmly. With a sigh, she continued, “But I’m not putting you on the schedule again until you have this figured out.” 

A tear or two managed to escape before Rey could wipe them away. “That’s generous,” Rey mumbled.

Awkward mournful silence haunted them for a few more moments before Peli stood, Rey, following suit. 

“I’ll clock you out when your shift was supposed to end.” She held up her hand, “No buts. Go home, get some rest and keep me in the loop okay? We’re all rooting for you kid. You’ll be back before we can miss you properly.”

In a numb sort of blur, Rey gathered her belongings and left the garage. Worries that she may never come back plagued her as she trudged toward the bus stop. Not even the small scattering of brightly colored leaves on the sidewalk- something that usually gave her childlike joy- could alleviate her worries, if only for a moment.

Rey stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

“What do I do?” She whispered to herself, to the leaves, to anything or anyone who could hear her.

The leaves swirling at her feet held no answers. 

She didn’t want to go home yet, didn’t want to see Rose’s look of sympathy, didn’t want to have to think about applying for a new job so she could pay her half of the rent. 

She wanted to talk to Ben.

Ben, who knew what this felt like, who knew the frustration of not being able to control your own body.

Ben, who was supportive and kind, who kissed her softly and held her hand when she was stressed.

He answered on the first ring.

_ “Rey? Don’t you have work right now? What’s wrong?” _

The stress finally broke through the dam. Tears streamed down her face despite her best effort. She dropped her bag in the grass and collapsed against a tree in the park strip.

She sniffed loudly, trying to find her voice. “Can you come get me?”

That wasn’t what she had intended to say but now that it was out she realized it was what she wanted most. She just wanted him. To curl up next to him and cry while he played with her hair.

_ “Of course sweetheart. But what happened where are you?” _

Rey rubbed at her eyes and looked around, she hadn’t been paying attention while she’d walked. “I’m in front of that jewelry store on the corner of State street and 90th.” 

_ “Okay, I’m coming. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” _

Her heart clenched at the deep concern just in his voice. Rey could hear him moving around, presumably looking for the car keys he could never seem to keep track of. 

“I fell asleep under a car at work.” She said quietly.

The shuffling stopped. 

_ “Oh no, Rey are you hurt? What-” _

“I’m fine,” She hurried on, “I’m not hurt. And Peli was kind about it. She said I can come back once I get things figured out.”

Ben breathed a sigh of relief  _ “I’m glad you’re okay, at least physically. I’m getting in the car now. I’ll be there soon.” _

“Drive safe,” Rey murmured and ended the call.

\--

Twenty minutes can pass quickly when you’re worried.

Ben waited impatiently for the light to turn. One block away and he was stuck at the slowest traffic light in existence.

The panicked restlessness from the phone call had abated a few minutes ago leaving him feeling worn out on top of the relief. When she said she’d fallen asleep under a car he’d instantly pictured flashes of increasingly worse scenarios.

He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. She’s okay. He reminded himself. Rightfully upset and needing comfort but physically okay.

At last, the light turned green. As he approached the entrance he spotted Rey making her way towards the shop’s lot. He pulled into a spot and threw the car into park.

Quick as he could he was up and out of the car pulling her into his arms.

She wrapped her arms around his middle and pressed her face into his chest, breathing heavily.

Ben smoothed a hand down the hair. “It’s okay, it’ll be okay.” He murmured, holding her tight.

She let go of a sob as he continued to stroke her hair. “I could just scream,” she pulled back slightly so she was no longer muffled, but didn’t let go. “Things were going well and now...”

An idea sparked and quickly formed into a plan. “I know a place.”

\---

The sun sank low on the horizon by the time they reached the small dirt lot at the base of the cliffs. 

Rey had been quiet for most of the drive, occasionally changing the radio station or fiddling with her jacket. 

They hiked up the trail in comfortable silence, Ben giving her space to process, figuring that that was the more helpful approach right now. By the time they reached the top the brilliant orange of sunset painted the sky with vivid purples starting to creep in on the fringes signifying the oncoming night. The entire valley stretched out below them, lights glimmering in the distance. 

This was one of Ben’s favorite spots. Once a popular place to rappel the bolts had become overused and had yet to be replaced leaving the clifftop deserted most of the time. Ben came here to think frequently, sometimes taking advantage of the isolation to just scream into the void himself. 

Rey squeezed his hand, looking out in wonder at the lights. “It’s beautiful.”

Ben nodded in agreement. “Wanna know the best part?”

Rey looked at him quizzically.

He pointed down to the freeway far below them. “That does an excellent job of filtering out the sound for the few people who do live around here. You can yell as loud as you want and no one will care.”

She smiled a little, sending a little burst of happiness straight to his soul. 

He brushed a wayward strand of hair out of her eyes and returned the smile. If the circumstances were different this would be the perfect time to kiss her.

“I can go back down to the car if you’d prefer privacy.” He offered, already taking a step back.

“No!” Rey grabbed his other hand, now holding onto him tightly with both of hers. “Stay. Please. Will you do it with me? I think I’ll just end up feeling silly by myself.”

Ben stepped back to her and pressed a kiss to her forehead, secretly basking in the knowledge that she welcomed such gestures. “Of course.” 

“On three?” 

“On three.”

They turned towards the cliff’s edge, facing the open sky before them.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!”

With as much volume as they could muster, they screamed into the void.

Even without any looming stresses, though Ben was certainly not a stranger to them, the experience was cathartic. 

It may have lasted for merely a few seconds or maybe several minutes, but eventually, the primal screeches subsided leaving them in the hushed silence only achieved at great heights.

Finished, Rey sat on the rocky ground, folding her knees and crossing her ankles in front. She looked up at Ben expectantly. He settled down beside her without complaint.

She pulled her hair out of the bun she wore for work. Ben watched her chestnut hair tumble down her shoulders with admiration. He was too enamored with her loose hair to notice what she was doing until her head was in his lap, resting comfortably on his thigh. 

Ben forced himself not to jump out of his skin and blow this for them. Tentatively, he brushed her hair back so it didn’t hang in front of her face. 

“Do you mind if I braid your hair?” The question slipped through his filter. He was suddenly glad she couldn’t see the ridiculous blush on his face.

She sighed happily, “I would love that actually.”

As Ben separated and started the braid Rey spoke softly. “I’m scared, Ben.”

He stilled momentarily, holding the strands loosely between his fingers. “Yeah?”

“I didn’t want to tell you because I’m not one to tell people about my problems but I have no idea what to do.” She admitted quietly. “I don’t have insurance. Well, I do, but it's pathetic and doesn’t cover anything besides emergency room visits and the campus GP. I can’t access any sort of welfare since I’m here on a foreign visa. I made the specialist appointment but if I don’t have a job there’s no way I’m going to be able to go.”

Ben kept braiding as she talked, listening intently. His hands came to a stop once he reached the ends of her hair.

“What am I going to do Ben? I can’t keep living like this but I also can’t afford to do anything about it.”

_ She could use my insurance.  _

Now that was a crazy thought. The only way Rey could use his insurance is if she were his… wife. 

Marriage with Rey was a beautiful thought but it was crazy. Right? That was crazy. They’d only really met- Ben counted back the weeks in his head- six weeks ago. It had a wonderful six weeks but still only six weeks. 

There was too much they didn’t know about each other. 

There was no way it could work.

_ But what if it could?  _

Did he really believe they couldn’t work together or was he only hesitating because of when they met?

He thought back through their interactions, especially the weekend she spent at his house. He remembered how well they fit together, how happy he’d been to have her in his space, filling it with her warmth and laughter. 

Maybe they could work. Or at least enough so she could benefit from his insurance.

Ben was self-aware enough to know that he was falling for Rey. No one had ever occupied his thoughts like she did, made him want to be a better person like she did. 

They could get married, and Rey would be able to get her diagnosis. Ben optimistically thought that it could even work out in the long run. But even if they didn’t he would be happy knowing that he’d been able to help her. 

“Rey,” He said hesitantly.

She must have heard the sudden trepidation in his voice because she sat up turning her body towards him.

“Ben?”

“I-” He exhaled slowly, steadying himself. “I have an idea. It’s... unconventional though.”

Curiosity piqued Rey motioned for him to go on.

“My coverage is good and I already used up my deductible for the year so it’d be totally free-”

“Well that’s convenient for you but how-”

“That’s what I’m getting at. I can add family members to my plan. So if you were my family you could use it.”

Rey looked cautious. “What are you saying, Ben?”

Ben inhaled deeply before the plunge. “I’m saying you could marry me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peli Motto is the mechanic Mando visits twice on Tatooine 
> 
> I've honestly been so excited to share this chapter with you all. It may be a few weeks before I can update again but I hope it will be worth the wait.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have a moment I'd love to hear your thoughts :)


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